the diving board

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I feel like jumping in…and then I feel like running away…several times over. This is me starting a new way of moving paint while I find a new way of helping my mind think, my brain to exercise. Since the accident, I find myself and lose myself for moments of time. It’s hard to explain, but it feels like a slow motion button gets pushed on inside my head and I cannot turn it off at will. ’tis the mystery of that space between my ears…

I had been looking at some new techniques for several months, gathering information and ideas, but I never got to the starting block. for lots of reasons.  In this rest and recovery time, I’ve picked that research back up – trying to be inspired while testing my left eye’s compliance to focus, watch, and read with my right. In this whole process, here’s what I have discovered:

Spontaneity needs to be planned for.

This is my new normal right now.

I know, right? That really goes against much of the way I “work”. It frustrates me just to think about thinking that way. But if I set up everything I can in the hours I feel strongest and most focused, it will all be waiting for me to dive in when I next feel I can.

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Thankfully, my kids are finally old enough not to go jump in it themselves (the cats, not so much) internet shopping is my friend because I cannot drive yet, and I already know how to work in complete silence. You can read about that here .

so, deep breath. and another…here I go…

fy

I hope.

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